nobelprizewinner (helixthecat) wrote in xrantxandxravex,

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waitress diaries

"Miss! Miss!" The incessant whine of the idiot sitting at table 21 causes my teeth to clench as I slowly inhale and glance towards the ceiling.Sparing the idiot my hateful glance that is instinct to all who want to express the annoyance and loathing forced upon our once blue-green,I could have a good day at work, ora. Ambushed from behind in the middle of waiting on table 33. ( Yes, you baboon. I have other tables besides yours) My eyes narrow and cloud over as the black fog swallows up and holds hostage any happy blue-green thoughts.
I turn to you, knowing the look of, "You've got to be kidding me!" ,Is written all over my face.
" Can I have my check please!" The monkey in a suit articulates from four tables away.
You can't just wait 2 minutes for me to drop this check off? Can't I get a moment to utter a, "Thank you ,enjoy the rest of your day?" You see me walk past you at least 6 or 7 times since you've plopped your crabby ass down on that chair. Pulling your luggage in just enough to be conveniant for you. Coincidentally your shit is taking up have the aisle, and because the oblivious retard at table 22, who must realize and obviously doesn't give two shits, feels like he needs to sit two feet away from the actual table . The usual path to the kitchen is effectively blocked off. How can you not possibly know ,that each time I have to stop and walk aroung 3 tables then come all the way back AROUND that I am inwardly cursing your existance.
So by the time I get to the register and print up the idiots' check , he's standing impatiently by his table, luggage handle in hand. As if it's my fault you didn't ask for your check 5 minutes ago when I refilled your coffee and asked if I could bring you anything else. NOOOO. You had to wait until I was four tables away and SPEAKING to other people. What could you possibly be thinking that justifies your rude, rude behavior? What makes you so speacial that you believe I need to stop talking or doing whatever I may be in the middle of, to come over to your table and make you my number 1 priority? Please enlighten me you daffy ass bastard. Why do they let you dumbwitted chimps out of your caves anyway?
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